What is wrong with my aunt??!?

So we're visiting someone. And in their living room, I see a stack of magazines (as is usual in many homes, so guests can browse, or for the pleasure of the homeowner) and start to browse through it. One magazine catches my attention. On the cover, I see the headline of an article regarding THE END OF Geena Davis' series "Commander-in-Chief." I get EXCITED BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET TO SEE the final episode, and here I am, about to flip the page TO GO TO THE ARTICLE when my aunt strides over to me, grabs THE BLOODY MAGAZINE, rolls it up, hits me in the head with it, and picnhes and twists my ear like she used to do when I was little and I had done something wrong! On the cover of the magazine is a sexy, almost-naked woman in only her panties. She scolds me and tells me that I shouldn't be reading smut and that I should know better. What the ****?!!? It was just THERE on the cover! That's NOT ALL THE STORY, there were OTHER articles in it! And whatever article accompanied that almost-nude photo, I SURE AS EFFING HELL WASN'T GOING TO READ IT! I was interested in Commander-in-Chief! What the heck?!?