When i think about the afterlife and possible outcomes and such,?

I get this disturbing feeling, like i'm trying to remember something but can't, and i start crying, not sobbing crying but more of a teary eye'd thing with a sniffle. Then i get these chills up my spine and all over my body, i suppose you could compare it to when you get in trouble or something bad happens and it hits you at once and you go numb, i also get goose bumps and feel scared and dis-com-bob-u-lated. I feel like if i got a little bit closer, i could almost see it.....i feel like sometimes i visit the same place in my dreams, i remember them vividly, and they seem to represent a lot, and i have this feeling that i'm the only person on earth, and my mind is creating everyone and thing else, but i feel egotistical & self centered for thinking that... help..?